I think the idea of what we think our lives should look like screws us up more than the way our lives actually pan out.
We have this idealistic view of who we are and who we want to be, what we should be doing and how we should be living, and it is this image that completely takes away the beauty of just being in the now and basking in life’s various stages.
For me personally, the past few months have been a time of massive upheaval and this disturbance in my previously steady life has kind of knocked me around. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking on a rocking ship, forever trying to find my balance.
I didn’t even experience this much unrest when I moved countries alone. But then again, I guess I was prepared for that.
Maybe that’s the thing. Maybe, when we prepare for change we don’t really experience the groundbreaking, earth shattering, life altering effects that change is supposed to have, because we have gone in with our eyes wide open and meticulously prepared for what is about to come.
It’s when change occurs in our lives by a way of slapping us in the face when we’re least expecting it that it causes this kind of dissonance in how we anticipated things to play out and how reality is shaping. It’s confusing and uncomfortable and it makes you stop dead in your tracks and question everything you thought you knew.
When you’re unprepared it can make you question who you are, what you believe in and how you want your life to play out. You can go with the flow of the rocking boat and take the punches that change will have on your life, or, you can fight with all of your might to stay upright and reduce the amount of impact that change can produce, trying to keep the equilibrium to maintain your reality as you know it.
The answers might not come to you immediately.
In fact, the answers might not come to you at all and if they do, they may change from day to day, hour to hour minute to minute. One moment you’re enjoying the motion of the swaying ship and the next, you’re petrified of being thrown overboard so are holding on for dear life.
But you know what? That is f*cking okay. You don’t need to have all of the answers and it’s totally normal to be scared of change. Especially change that could turn your whole world upside down.
What I have come to learn is this; sometimes, the scariest and most confronting times of our lives are paramount for growth. You can’t plan or prepare for everything that happens to you and sometimes, life needs to give you an extra nudge to make room for something bigger and better that is coming your way that you don’t even know about yet.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in the day to day that we forget the bigger picture and we get so complacent with our comfort zones, the here and now, that we don’t even see a blessing when it’s staring us right in the face.
It’s okay to not know where the path leads next. Think of life like the headlights of a car, driving through a dark night. You can only ever see a few metres in front of you but you trust that the light will allow you to arrive safely at your destination.
“Just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you have been waiting for”.