It’s been a while since I’ve had the motivation and mindset to sit down and just write. It’s been a while since I’ve had enough peace of mind to sit down and do anything fully, without being distracted by 101 other things.
Over the past few years I’ve learned that Ronan Keating was right, and in fact, life is a roller-coaster. I know all too well that not everything in life lasts and sometimes, things are too good to be true. Through these teachings I’ve become a big advocate for appreciating what you have and being mindful everyday to allow yourself to live in the moment because at any minute, things can change. The good and the bad.
Throughout my 25 years of life I have tried, failed and tried again. I have learned that bad times don’t last and no matter how dire a situation may seem, it will get better and I will get out the other side stronger, more educated and happier.
But these past few weeks have been really difficult for me and I have found myself in a place that I never wanted to be again. Heartbroken, lost, unsettled and rather perplexed. Sometimes we have to endure these times to appreciate what we have and sometimes, strenuous situations can really open your eyes to things you were blinded to. Sometimes it takes losing something to realise the true value of it.
I’ve had to remind myself countless times that being in pain and admitting it, doesn’t mean that you are weak. Reaching out for help doesn’t mean that you’re feeble and admitting that there is a problem doesn’t mean you have failed. In fact, I think these characteristics make you strong and allude to the fact that you’re in-tune with yourself. I’ve had to stand up for myself to a person who means the absolute world to me in order to make sure that I’m being looked out for because, sometimes the best person to look after you, is yourself.
I think it’s so important to remember that when it comes down to it, you need to be number one and if you feel like you’re being put second, something needs to change. Sometimes these drastic changes are what’s needed to break a vicious cycle and sometimes these drastic changes make you wonder why you put up with it for so long. Whichever way you feel, the feelings of loss and dismay don’t last forever. Because nothing lasts forever. And when you stop and really think about it, that is the most satisfying yet frightening sentence.
I’ve been on highs and undoubtedly happy for long periods of time but I’ve also been through periods of feeling low, mundane and monotonous but that’s just what life is. We live, we learn, we breathe and we break and it doesn’t matter what you feel because it just keeps going and these feelings will continue to change.
The important thing to do is to revel in however it is that you’re feeling, whether that is on top of the world or at the bottom because at the end of the day, they’re just emotions. And emotions are like clouds passing by in the sky; some are grey and gloomy while others are white and fluffy – but they continue to pass by. I’ve had to remind myself to feel and process and not to bottle things up and pretend I’m fine, because I’m not. And it’s a daily struggle to be open about it but it’s all a part of the process.
I know from lived experiences that this too, shall pass. Whatever happens from here, whichever way I decide to go, I know that I will be okay. I know that I will be in a place of contentment and feel grounded again but I also know that I can’t just fast forward to get there. I need to bleed first. I’m okay with that. I have learned to embrace whatever life throws at me because, that’s how we heal. We have to make sure that we feel everything in order to deal with it, accept and then we move on. And that’s what I’m doing.
And throughout this ordeal I have learned that the friendships I have established over the past 18 months are strong, compassionate and most of all, understanding. I have been lent so many helping hands that it’s overwhelming and for that, I am truly thankful.
No matter where you are in your life and no matter what you are going through, it’s extremely liberating to realise that, as cliche as it may seem, life has it’s ups and downs and bad times don’t last forever. Things may come and go but you will always have yourself, so make sure your integrity is in tact and you stay true to yourself.