I don’t want a mundane love. I don’t want complacency. I don’t want something just because it’s easy, comfortable or familiar.
I crave passion. I crave an intimacy on such a deep level that I can feel it in my bones. I have this powerful desire for a love so profound that an eternity doesn’t feel like long enough. I want to be told every single day how much I’m loved. I want to be reminded that out of everyone on this earth, you choose me and that you continue to choose me for the rest of time. I want to know that because of me, you forgot there was even a choice.
I want to be looked in the eye and feel electricity surge between us. An overpowering connection that makes you wonder how you lived before this person came along. The kind of partnership that people search their whole lives to find, only to fall short because this kind of thing, you and I, doesn’t happen.
I want to know that every day for the rest of my being I will come home to your arms, awaiting me to walk through that door like you haven’t seen me in a year. I want to know that every single morning I will wake up to you rolling over to squeeze me into you, with a kiss planted gently on my forehead. I want to know that no matter what happens in this thing called life, you will be my one unwavering constant when things change. You will be there through triumph, failure, loss, happiness and despair. I want to know that no matter what life throws at me, you will be the one by my side to help me through it. I want to know that no matter how angry you might be, how impracticable I have been, if I need you, you will show up. As I will for you.
You and I are flawed but together we can make an imperfect perfection. I know we will fight and I welcome that with open arms. I know you will infuriate me, as I will you. Spit your language poison. Tell me how pissed off you are and I promise you I will do the same because, I am not afraid of an argument. Get emotional. Get angry. Be open, unremitting and cruel if you have to. Because to me, fighting means that there is something worth fighting for. Fighting symbolizes passion, energy and vigour. I am more afraid of silence. I am terrified of things becoming so bad that there’s nothing left to fight for.
If you want to give me something, write me letters, make me coffee before I wake, take up a hobby with me or place random notes around the house as little reminders. Cook with me or for me, join me in a yoga class, tell me about your biggest dreams and fondest memories. Make time for me, hold me tightly to remind me that you’ll never let go, dance with me around the kitchen when I’m in one of my moods. Take me on a picnic, grab me from behind and whisper in my ear, surprise me. Tell me what scares you. Be selfless. If we wake apart, send me a message the moment the light infiltrates your eyes to let me know that I am your first thought in the morning. Accompany me to boring family dinners with a smile on your face and hand in mine. Allow me to be independent when I need, knowing that if I travel far, I will always come back to you. If you want to give me something, give me memories. Give me honesty despite the truth that you give. Give me love. Give me all of you because that is a gift in itself.
Over time things get effortless and easy but I don’t want a love any less than this. I don’t think anyone should settle for any less than this. I know it exists because it’s in us. It might take purposeful effort and at times it may seem like a struggle but I know that the good times will outweigh the bad. I want to know that regardless of how bad it may seem, we both know our love will prevail and there is light at the end. All we have to do show up.
For ourselves and for each other. Because if love isn’t like this, I don’t want it.