I always wanted to be a fitness model.
Even from a young age I envisioned myself on the cover of a magazine, rocking solid abs and the ‘perfect’ strong, feminine figure.
I thought the fitness industry was this exclusive club that only a few people had the pleasure of joining.
Living this lavish lifestyle where work consisted of training, guest appearances, expensive cars, perfect skin, happiness, travelling and having fresh smoothies with a tropical backdrop – every damn day.
I looked up to these women on social media, in magazines and on stage like they were the epitome of health and beauty.
I yearned to be like them. Every day searching the internet for their diets, training routines and what supplements they took (the ones they were honest about taking, should I say)
And I obligingly followed these 1200 calorie diets that they posted, failing to mention it was only for a week leading into a competition. My naïve self, believed these to be their year round food plans.
I trained strictly following their methods, morning cardio on an empty stomach and pushing myself to my limits in my PM weights session. But while they increasingly put on muscle and grew, there became less of me. Physically and mentally.
I bought protein, creatine, glutamine and aminos in the hope that I would too, look like these amazing, strong, healthy women.
In their interviews they would say they achieved their results by “Being strict on my diet, training hard, eating healthy food and not straying”, yet while I was also doing all of the above I couldn’t understand I wasn’t even close to looking like these powerful women.
Unbeknown to be at this time, the fitness industry unrealistically glorifies everything.
The sad truth is that creatine and protein shakes aren’t the only supplements a lot of these people are taking.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not accusing every person in the fitness industry of taking performance enhancing drugs. And I’m not at all saying they don’t put in the work to get to where they are.
But at that point in time, my adolescent self didn’t even know there was such a thing as steroids and I sure as hell didn’t know how common it was for them to slip into people’s stacks.
The unfortunate thing is that no one admits it or talks about it because it’s so incredibly frowned upon, yet the majority of people are on it. The major problem with this is that there are thousands of young woman out there (like I once was) trying to look a certain way, killing myself (quite literally) to change my body in the hopes to look like these worshiped physiques.
I’d see these transformations of a skinny white girl who they called ‘skinny fat’, change into a toned, curvy, strong woman rocking rounded shoulders and a ghetto booty within the time frame of up to a year, giving me unrealistic expectations that this was possible from a 1200 calorie diet and 14 hours of exercise a week.
Well I can tell you that it’s not. The only thing this will give you is unhappiness, hungriness, tiredness, moodiness, isolation and obsessive-compulsive behaviours and thoughts.
It wasn’t until recently that I began to understand the prevalence of Anavar, GH and Test in this industry.
Never compare yourself to these people you look up to on social media. You never know what goes on behind closed doors and you don’t know the full truth about any of them.
Your body is yours. Not mine. Not your trainers or nutritionist. Yours.
If you’re honest with yourself and putting in the effort and seeing small progress – that’s still progress. It’s still something and it’s still worth celebration.
If you slip up, it means you’re human. If you’re having trouble finding motivation, keep going and it will come back to you.
Everyone is on their own journey & you should be proud of the one that is yours.