Recently, when I was reflecting on what makes me happy and remembering the time I was at my happiest I realised a few things :
I was not bodybuilding although I was training like I was
I ate intuitively. Yes, I still weighed and measured my food and ate 90% healthy, but if I felt like something that wasn’t on a prescribed diet plan, I ate it
I was practicing self-love and mediation almost daily
I was studying something that I was passionate and excited about
I was training because I loved it not because I had to
I was smiling for no apparent reason
I was stepping outside of my comfort zone or pushing myself in some way, daily
I was saying out loud what I was thankful for
I focused on what my body was capable of DOING, rather than how it looked.
Morning walks were standard
Chocolate was ‘allowed’ if I felt like it
Realising this has shifted my perception in regards to my next move. I love the stage. I have this inherent fear of becoming complacent, average and falling off the radar. But what’s the point if it’s not making you miserable?
Focusing on how your body looks instead of what is capable of is a complete mind fuck. From what you eat, wear, do and who you see. Most importantly, it screws with how you view yourself. I promote self love yet I’m so hesitant in giving myself that same right.
Expectations. Motivation to be better. That voice in my head that continues to tell me I need to look a certain way to be worthy of anything.
Well f*ck you little voice. I’m worthy with AND without abs.