I choose Me.

I recently posted on my Instgram (Stacwa_) about the continuing struggle I have regarding the absence of my menstrual cycle, which has now been hiding for about a year. Although to some females (and males) out there this may seem like the life to live, and a few years ago I thought the same.

In the past when this has happened I loved it. It meant that my body fat was low which in my eyes meant I was aesthetically appeasing. Well, today is a different story. Although not having to go through the frustration of an unwelcoming monthly visitor is somewhat appealing, the harsh repercussions are not.  Totalling a shocking 3 and a half years’ period free, I am becoming more and more worried about the consequences this can and probably will have on my long term health.

What people are failing to understand is that secondary amenorrhea (absence of menstrual cycle after it has begun) is merely the symptom. It’s like a cough & runny nose when you have a cold. The cold is the illness, and the cough is just a symptom of what is really going on with your body. Fundamentally, your body is in a state of stress and is not healthy enough reproduce. Your body is not in a healthy state to nourish another human or bring any life into this world, which is what they’re supposed to do. But fertility issues aren’t the only problem that I am worried about. Amenorrhea also suggests that your bones aren’t getting the vitamins and minerals they need to grow and be strong, that your hormones aren’t working properly in order for your body to perform optimally, and perhaps, your pituitary gland in your brain isn’t sending the appropriate messages to your ovaries.

What really struck me was the feedback I got in response to my post. An overwhelming number of females, most of who are in their 20’s, experience this same problem. I was shocked. For so long I had been pushing through, trying not to worry about it because I wanted to be one of the best. I wanted the 6-pack abs and I wanted to get back on the stage – a goal that still holds true. But I was frustrated and pissed off because I thought that everyone around me had got to their conditioning and was still functioning optimally, something that is far from the truth.

Something that has made me take action is this: you are only at the top for a small amount of time. There will always be someone better coming up & before you know it, you will be yesterday’s news. What happens when you’re no longer in the limelight and you’ve neglected your family, friends, relationships and most of all, your own health? You have nothing, no one, and not even your body is there for you because of the years of abuse you’ve put it through.

I’ve consciously (and heart-wrenchingly) made the decision to put myself first in a way that some people never will. You only have one body. Your body is the ONLY person who will be there for you, every. single. breathe you take. Every struggle you go through. Every happy, sad, precious moment. If you don’t take care of it now, you won’t even have that later. I don’t want to look back in 20 years’ time and regret not taking care of myself because I thought I was invincible. Osteoporosis, infertility, & cancer are not what I have planned for my future, so for now, I’m choosing me.


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